Glorp

ANALYZING…
FILE TYPE: Audio Report
PERIOD: Present Day
SPEAKERS: Unknown UESC Officer 1 [ID: USER1], Unknown UESC Officer 2 [ID: USER2]
TOPIC: Glorp
SUMMARY: A recorded conversation between two UESC officers tasked with a security report of CyberAcme System’s most protected asset.

[USER1] …starting report of CyberAcme protected asset designation…

[USER2] Go on, finish it.

[USER1] I mean, this just has to be some sort of joke. That wasn’t real.

[USER2] We just saw it today.

[USER1] What I saw was a cat, not some protected asset: “Glorp”.

[USER2] A very heavily protected asset named Glorp.

[USER1] Well, without a doubt, that thing was painted green.

[USER2] What about the suit?

[USER1] That suit was finely tailored, but…I don’t wanna comment on it.

[USER2] Right, so then comment on the cat, oh I’m sorry, I mean the “Glorp”.

[USER1] Well– it’s value to CyAc cannot be understated. It’s heavily guarded, vital to their systems– somehow.

[USER2] But I mean…look at it. I had to hold in my laughter. They were lookin’ at me funny the whole time.

[USER1] Have you seen CyAc’s own report? They’ll write you up if you look at it funny.

[USER2] And what, we’re supposed to respect that?

[USER1] Do you want to have terminal access?

[USER2] Listen, they’ll never hear this. This report is for Orion's eyes only.

[USER1] I guess you got a point there.

[USER2] Ahhh…Glorp…It was kinda cute though, wasn’t it?

[USER1] Ehh, a little.